Chastisement

Why does it always hurt us parents more when we scold or punish our children?

This is no rare occurrence I tell you... whenever me and my daughter fight over who's boss (and I end up reminding her that I'm her dad and I'm the one who makes up the rules) I always feel helpless when she starts to cry. It's kinda ego-ripping when you realize that the person you are battling with is a mere child and yet you feel like you're the one at a total disadvantage since you love the person so much... up to the point wherein you feel that you 'baby' is taking advantage of the fact that whatever happens, you'd always pick 'em up, hug 'em, and say "I'm sorry for yelling at you... etc.". Hmmm... Well, I really don't know about you guys, but hell I'm always on the losing end... just one smile after a rainstorm of tears would always make me forget why we had a row in the first place. Er, come to think of it, why do us parents always feel better when we see that our child is not afraid to voice out their rights? :D

Our Masks

Behind the passive façade of every man who has embraced the concept of fatherhood would set-up walls of solid concrete around him and being the corner stone of the family, the father’s image is that of an impenetrable wall; the epitome of invincibility and one that children would look up to… hence the childish argument: “…My dad can kick your dad’s -*-…”

‘Dad’, a three letter word that can ease away the fears, chase the monsters into the deepest corners of the closet and execute them with extreme prejudice; the eradicator of phantoms and bad dreams; the ultimate super hero.

But behind every father’s veneer lies a fear all too real; fear not for himself but for the future of his children. The paradox of the whole persona is that in our strength lies our weakness. I myself have been subject to the tests of patience. The times when you must ‘steel’ yourself and grit your teeth when dealing with two year-olds, such as myself… the notion of driving them away later on if you commit the simple mistake of becoming the ultimate antagonist with a few “no’s” too often… but hey when do we say no and to what do we say yes to? I mean, really, there are times when children must be reprimanded, but to what extent must we clench our fists and hold back the angry futility that a child (or child-like pre-adolescent) would likely not comprehend? Now, here lies the test of real patience. This is the part where I’d ask my wife to step-in and do the talking while I go and walk-off some steam. Fathers are, according to a Chinese friend of mine, like or should be like bamboo; “bend unto the unpredictable force of the wind and breaking in half would be up to the limits of one’s faith.”

Behind these stern eyes and flaccid faces hides a soft-shelled romantic.